Nobody really likes housework, least of all kids. But a tool box of responsible behaviors is a great thing to carry out of the house and into the future.
I learned to do chores from my parents and to be honest–from their coercion. Occasionally I actually didn’t mind it, like when the Pledge cloth parted the dust like the Red Sea, or when I got to rearrange my bedroom in the process, but most of the time a chore was clearly a chore! My own kids have inherited this sentiment.
I do housework now with a different set of expectations and satisfactions, after all, now it’s my furniture that shines, not my mother’s. So I try my hardest to instill that same satisfaction in them. It’s only successful to a point to be very honest. So I usually have to add an incentive to get the job done, just as my mom did.
Now, I maintain a list. THE LIST, as we call it, is posted and regulated and blissfully separate from my nagging voice. That makes everyone a little less edgy. THE LIST declares the day’s duties and the completion of them releases the obligation. I post THE LIST on day one of summer vacation and I include in THE LIST: a chore or two, an academic challenge, and a promise for fun after they’re done. I try to think through all the necessary housekeeping challenges, and a few educational practice skills and distribute them through the week by age and ability. It really works. I actually have a cleaner house in the summer with everyone home than during the school year when it all falls back on me.
When the kids were younger, THE LIST was alphabetically significant—on Mondays, we did M things like Make Beds with clean sheets, Manage our laundry and do Math problems. That was the day we also saved for Matinees or Movie rentals. Tuesdays were for Time to Read, Taking the dog or garbage out, and Talking to God in a prayer journal. Then we Took a field trip. Wednesdays we did Water work (cleaning floors, caring for plants), Writing, and made sure to hit the Water park or get some Water balloons. Fridays were especially significant because we planned a lot of Friend activities. You get the idea.
Teens don’t need or appreciate quite so much cute components of THE LIST, but you’d be surprised at how effective those alphabetical cues are at helping them remember the expectations. As in all parenting, follow through is critical. I have to remember to both inspect and reward, but overall, THE LIST now manages itself, and that gives us all more time for fun in the sun.
Submitted by Cheryl Pacilio, wife to Mike and mother to Katie, Amy, Marie, and Brian. Cheryl is a frequent contributor to Hearts at Home, based in Normal, Illinois.
