Just the Way You Are…

I’m not singing the Bruno Mars or Billy Joel version of this popular song, although I will admit I do love the words to both.  Elementary school (and life in general) is not for the faint of heart, right?

How many of us have had our kids come off the schoolbus with hurt feelings?  (I can see the nods.)  It’s hard!  My first thought (that I keep to myself) is WHO is saying these things to my child!  WHO is making them feel that way?  Then I quickly realize that it doesn’t really matter WHO.  I can’t protect them from every mean or inappropriate comment that will come their way on the playground, in the cafeteria and in every stage of life!

Instead, I focus on how to express to that person how “that’s not nice to say” and how to hold their ground and try to let those comments bounce off their shoulders.   We then talk specifics about whatever the negative comment was about  (their clothes, their hair bow, their voice, whatever…people seem to always find something to nitpick about).  I reiterate to them all of their wonderful qualities and how the negative comments are not true.  We focus on controlling how you feel and react and realize we can’t always control the feelings and opinions of others.

My youngest said, “maybe that person was having a bad day!”  Yep, that is the case in most instances.  It’s easier to make someone else feel down than to hold yourself up some days.   So, we talk it through and discuss how adults get their feelings hurt too, and I give examples from my day.  We agree not to make others feel that way and to focus on the positive.

A final hug, and I love you “just the way you are” to keep in the forefront of their minds.  Spread the word!