Funny Kid Comments: From Our Readers

Kids say the “darn-dest” things!

Here are some priceless tidbits from our readers’ kids.  Post yours here (at the bottom), and you’ll be entered in next month’s prize drawing!

• From Heather P. “When I’m drying my son off when he gets out of the tub, I do the towel back and forth on his back and he says ‘mom, you’re gonna catch me on fire!'”
• From Dan N. “So Mark, why is Araya your girlfriend, what about the other girls in kindergarten? Because Araya said I can only have one girlfriend.”
• From Jen M.  “Jack, would you like water or milk to drink?” “Mommom, I’d like some beer.”
• From Gina.  “Yesterday when my two year old woke up and looked out the window, he said, ‘LOOK mommy, there’s white frosting on the grass!'”

• From Kim H. “Jack – ‘Mom, remember when I was in your belly?’  Me – ‘Yes, I do.’ Jack – ‘you know how I wanted to come out early and you had to go in an ambulance?’ Me – ‘yes, it was quite scary’. Jack – ‘I just did that because I was ready to see the world! Sorry Mom’. Me – ‘BOO HOO BOO HOO!'”

• From Lisa B. In reference to the Christmas Parade Downtown: “My kids didn’t understand why Illinois State Senator Larry Bomke had a fancy sleigh and Santa was in a red car…until Melis said ‘Santa’s sleigh needs snowy ground, and the road wasn’t snowy!'”

• From Krista Y. “I took my kids to the parade this a.m. My 6-year-old son was very excited to know Santa would be there. So the time came, Santa was coming and my little boy says, ‘wow, mom Santa has a red BMW convertible!!’ Lucky Santa!”

• From Jen D. “Connor told me tonight that he likes to eat with the candles lit (no idea how he got that since we don’t eat by candlelight but I had just put out a new Christmas centerpiece with candles) so anyway, we ate by candle light tonight and it was fun!”

• My son Tim: “Mom, today I’m thankful for hot dogs!” My daughter Hannah: “Mommy, I’m thankful for hot dogs too!”
• From Dawn D.  Oldest son: “I know what I want for my birthday, a butler.” Youngest son: “You already have one, me, and too bad for you, I quit!”

• From Holly D. “Walking by my newly turned (innocent) 5-year-old’s room, I see her at her toy box with most of the items on the floor (she must have been searching for something).  As I walk past her room, I hear her say ‘Ahhh.  Found it but now I have to put all this crap away.’  I stop, walk backwards and say ‘Excuse me but we do not talk that way.’  She doesn’t even look up and says ‘Crap. You weren’t supposed to hear that.’ I never knew that my child knew such a word!”

• From Jill F. “Here is something my son said when he was little.  He is 19 now.  I have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. He was asking why people still had their trees up and the lights on their houses still on after Christmas was over.  I said that some people wait until the Epiphany to take down their lights.  I explained that the Epiphany is when the 3 wise men came to visit Jesus and bring him gifts.  On the next opportunity he explained to Grandma that the lights on people’s houses were up because they were waiting for the 3 stooges to visit Jesus.”  Cameron Franklin age 7, now 19.
• From Kari T. “We’re in the car one day and my then 6-year old daughter was playing with words and taking off the first letter. Then she said the word ‘DVD….if you take the D off, you have _____!!!’ You can only imagine the rest….my husband and I just looked at each other and tried our best not to laugh hysterically. Of course, she had never heard the term VD, but I’m sure she was wondering why mom and dad were giggling to themselves.”
• From Michele K. “Last year on our drive home from school my son said ‘I hurt my tentacles’ to which I said ‘well that’s good since you don’t have tentacles’ thinking he learned the word in science or something and he said ‘Yes I do Mom! you know those thing under my pee pee.’  After dying laughing, I told him they are called testicles and asked him how they got hurt. I thought maybe another kid hit him there, well his hand slipped when he flushed the toilet and he hit himself!”
• From Dorothy R. “When going to Chicago going over the bridge over DeKalb River by Joliet, my 7-year-old Amanda yells ‘it’s the Mississippi!!!!!'”
• From Angela W. “My 7-year-old daughter came home from first grade yesterday and informed me that a boy had called her ‘hot’ in class. She then proceeded to tell me ‘and mom, he didn’t mean the sweaty kind!'”