Years ago, we realized that “SpringfieldMoms.org” was not just for moms – it was for “Grown-Ups and Their Kids” and that includes moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents and more!
Today we welcome John Stearns, who is a Springfield Dad, raising a family with his wife Dawn and their two boys. We think you’ll enjoy his opinion, humor and his definite “Dad’s Eye View” on the parenting journey. He writes:
“A couple of years ago while on vacation, we encountered a family with three boys, ages 9-13, that either couldn’t do anything for themselves, wouldn’t do anything for themselves, or else weren’t told to do anything for themselves. One even asked the grandfather to tie his shoes for him … !
After we returned home, my wife and I started discussing the things we felt kids needed to be able to do by adulthood. Every family will have different lists, but here’s ours in three areas of priority.
First, we came up with the “essentials.”
- Use manners. When did possessing and demonstrating manners (and politeness, for that matter) suddenly become considered a “weakness”? Kids need to know how and when to use “please,” “thank you” and especially “I’m sorry”- without being told to do so. Worse are adults who forget that common courtesy is NOT a character flaw.
- Win – AND lose – with grace. I hate trash talk and lack of sportsmanship, especially from kids. Poor winners are just as obnoxious as poor losers. Win or lose, shake the other guy’s hand, say “good game” and walk away.
Laundry. I started washing my own clothes when I was 12. In fact, I’m rather OCD about laundry. Right after we got married, I took over the laundry duties – hers, mine and any kids we wound up having. (Dawn can’t fold clothes to save her life. Love you, honey.)- Cook at least simple foods. I’m not talking the next Bobby Flay, but kids need to move beyond ramen noodles and cold cereal to the basics – brown hamburger, make pasta, scramble and fry an egg. (Myself, I absolutely stink at cooking. I need a recipe to make ice cubes. I’m invoking the “do as I say, not as I do” rule here.)
- Hand-wash dishes. Most people don’t have automatic dishwashers when they first start out. Even if they do, there are some things that HAVE to be hand-washed anyway. Learn how to wash them properly.
- Change a tire. Male or female, learn how to change a tire, check the oil and jumpstart the battery.
- Use proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. We don’t need walking dictionaries, but come on. Use of the English language nowadays is pathetic. Don’t like being corrected all the time? Learn your language. It’s very simple.
- Learn how and when to dress properly. Want to find a job for part-time or summer work? Dress appropriately. And learn to tie a tie and how to iron.
Then there are the not ‘vital to survival” but still important to know items, like:
- Sweep and mop a floor/vacuum carpets. It’s not rocket surgery, but a little effort goes a long way here.
- Clean the bathroom. Along with washing dishes, most people won’t have maids (or their mom) following behind them to clean up dribbles, stains, smears and rings in the bathroom. Cleaning the shower/tub, toilet and sink are important skills to learn. Oh, and if you use the last of it, change the toilet paper roll.
- Start a fire. You’ll probably never be on Survivor, but wouldn’t it be good to know you could successfully build a fire if you had to? Parental supervision recommended!
- Sew on a button. It’s really not that difficult. Even I can sew on a button.
Finally there are a couple things us “old folks” believe should still be learned:
- Drive a stick shift. As long as there are cars available with manual transmissions (especially older-model cars that people buy used, often to serve as a “first car”), I think everyone needs to know how to operate a stick shift.
- Write a check and balance a checkbook. Maybe checks will be obsolete in a few years, but until they’re gone, people should know how to write a check properly and to balance the register. It’s not that hard- I suck at math and I can do it.
- Use a can opener. Seriously, I know people – adults! – who have no clue how to use a standard hand-operated can opener. That’s crazy.
What’s on your list of skills you’d like your child to leave home with? How many of these things can you do? We’d love to hear your list! Email springfieldmoms.org@gmail.com with your essential skill sets. Until then, put your kids on clothing sorting duty – whites from colors!”
John Stearns is a stay-home dad living in Springfield with his wife and two boys. Living the dream, one grey hair at a time.
