Submitted by SpringfieldMoms Contributor Kathleen Clark
Just do it.
That famous motto applies to lots of areas of life, including chores. Are you tired of fighting, yelling, threatening, pleading and nagging your kids to “Do your chores!”? To make those fights a thing of the past, repeat this mantra: Just Do It!
The key is to make chores a habit. Experts say if you make helping and keeping things tidy from day one, its second nature, i.e. a habit, to kids. Well, it’s not second nature to me or my 5-year old. Now what?
Cynthia Ewer, author of The Complete Idiots Guide to Getting Organized points out it takes 21 days of doing something to make it a habit. Sounds tedious? Not so – think of all the things you and your children do that does not require repeated requests; brushing their teeth, bringing their plates in after a meal, or even getting themselves dressed. That may be a good place to start your chore list.
Build upon something that is already a habit, for a successful start at nag-free chores. Another way to encourage positive attitudes toward chores is to let children chose their chores from a list or draw tasks from a jar.
Here are some tips I have collected that might be the ticket to your family’s chore success.
Just Do It…QUICKLY
- Work in Short bursts
- Set a Timer
Just Do It…SIMPLE
- Add One Chore to Your Daily Routine
- Keep chores age-appropriate
Just Do It…TOGETHER
- Work as a Team
- Partner Up
Just Do It…FUN
- Play Music
- Wear Costumes
- Race
- Act Like Movie Characters
Just Do It…RIGHT
- Enforce Proper Technique (the right way is the easiest way)
- Set A Daily and/or Weekly Routine
Just Do It…NOW
- Be Clear on When a Chore is to be Completed (in 20 minutes, by Friday etc.)
- Delegate the Responsibility
- Deliver Consequences Immediately
The key to no-nagging? Don’t do it. Before a chore becomes a habit, you may want to use a chore chart. This will show clearly what chores are to be done, who is to do them, and when it needs to be completed by. Once a chore is delegated through a chore cart, it becomes the responsibility of the child. If it is not done by the agreed upon time, a consequence is delivered.
What are appropriate consequences?
Be careful of turning chores into punishments. Consequences such as limiting of free time or extra activities are most effective.
What do kids get for doing chores?
- Some families treat doing chores as preparation for the work force. Do your job, get a paycheck. Do you chores, get an allowance. Some may offer a prize as their reward rather than money.
- Other families may feel chores need to be done because that is “part of being a family.”
Both ways are A-Okay, according to Certified Parent Educator, Child Behavior Specialist, Mental Health Consultant, and Fellow Mother Elizabeth B. Frisbie, MA, MS Ed. Just because a physical reward is not given does not mean the child gets nothing out of their hard work. Privileges, such as being able to do fun activities, a trip for ice cream or being able to stay up later than a sibling, are earned though chores too.
Chores are not something to dismiss as unnecessary for children. Frsibie points out children develop responsibility, accountability, work ethic and an understanding that privileges are earned. Also, children take pride in themselves and their efforts while developing life skills so they can manage their own home and family someday. It has also been proven, that children who clean up their own things will take better care of their toys and clothes.
Chores and the responsibility and privileges that go along with them are a family value. It is especially important for all adults to be on the same page about allowances, responsibilities and privileges. If parenting in different households, be sure to be in agreement on these points.
A last ditch cleaning effort, known as the Blast Attack, may need to be employed under certain circumstances (ex. A surprise visit from your mother). Set a timer and limit each room or area to 5 minutes. Do what you can and move on. If you cannot get everything picked up; put the clutter in a box in the garage. Just don’t do it more than 21 days in a row or it might become a habit.
Kathleen Clark lives in Palmyra and is mother to Nathan, Augie, and Abe. She is a lover of anything that takes place outdoors.
